You Never Know

Our church was doing it's food ministry a couple of weeks ago, giving out bag lunches and water to the homeless, and I was passing out some cards for 490 Outreach, when we met a man named, well, let us say "Tommy".  He was in his thirties, clean cut, and needed a sober living home.  

I heard from him later that week, and we got him all moved in.  He came in with me on a Sunday to help build a food pantry for our church.  He got a job with a roofing crew.  All was going well.  This was sure fire success, a man who simply needed a hand up (not a hand out!) and he'd be back on track in no time!

Then the next day, he overslept and missed the pick up for the workers.  He passed that off by telling me that they were all doing meth on that crew, so I let that pass.  It's possible.  Certainly there are no shortage of meth fueled roofing crews, as many home owners in Springfield have sadly learned.  

I reminded him that one of the guys at church had spoke of a job possibility that was out of town.  I suggested that maybe at the Wednesday evening Bible Study he could attend with me and we could check into that.  True, he had no car, but I told him that I'd be willing to drive him there and back for the first week till he could find a regular ride.

He agreed.  Possibly, in retrospect, as he'd not paid yet and felt vulnerable.  If so, that's a pity, because no one was trying to make anyone go anywhere.  In any case, his mom wired him some money, and after I took him to get it, he paid me, then texted me an hour later saying he wasn't up for going to meet that guy at church, but that I could ask him if I wanted.

Well...I had earlier given him the "if you do right things, right things happen" talk, and was really kind of hoping he'd go talk to the guy himself.  Understand, it's not like I don't want a help a person whether they are going to church or not, most do not go to church at all, and I help them plenty.  It's what we do.

But I was a bit nervous about recommending a person for a job when he'd already overslept one and could not be bothered - on a day that was totally work free and open - to go to church and ask a guy about a good job opportunity.  I felt apprehension.  

And justly so.  He spent the following day watching TV all day - Montel, Maury, Price is Right, all the crap on the no pay channels.  Meanwhile I have another guest who is tied to the place by ankle monitor and wishes he had the freedom to leave that Tommy sitting there on the couch was squandering.  

Then Tommy got his paycheck for that one day of work, and packed his stuff quietly, what little there was of it, and without a word to me or anyone, left.  His roommate learned by seeing the empty side of the room.  I learned from that roommate.  Given the timing of "just got $70 to $80 in pay" and "moved out in time for Friday evening" I have my suspicions.  

And that's a real shame.  I'd really thought at first he had a real chance.  

Which just goes to show that when it comes to people, you just never know.  We've aided over sixty people in the past three years here.  And given that we're a faith based outreach (Seventh-day Adventism) we not only desire their sobriety, but we'd enjoy seeing them develop habits of church, too!

But if our percent of success rate in the field of sobriety is only around 15 to 20 percent, I'd say our ability to encourage some to come to church is far worse.  Still, if nothing else we're planting seeds that may one day come to fruition.

Take for instance a man I'll called "Danny" who I know as he ran the drug house I used to go to if I was a of a mind to use drugs.  I was never the type of active user of drugs that they portray in movies, some people's rock bottoms are higher or lower than other people's.  I never was a daily user, or even a weekly or monthly user.  "Just" (dangerous word!) here and there, now and then.

But I knew where to get it.  Danny's house.

Understand, he was not the dealer.  He was an active and daily user, though.  For years and years after I stopped doing any drugs or drinking at all, I'd still go by and see him.  Those houses are not the dens of violence and danger that movies make out, it's quite possible to stop by and sit on the porch or in the living room and chat.  And they all knew I was "cool", that is, that I was not there to get anyone in trouble.

For all those years, I've been trying to persuade him to stop.  His drinking and drugging were FAR in excess of anything I've ever done.  He had his esophagus burst from over drinking.  I didn't even know that was a thing.

There was no hope, at his age (fifties) and for as long as he'd been at it, and for as successful as he was at acquiring it, that he'd ever stop.

Yet last week he did.  Three days after I had caught him at the Breadline and gave him the old "talk" again.  He finally checked himself into a local rehab.  I am, in fact, going to be visiting him today.  One of the lesser known duties of a program supervisor is the visiting of those in jail or rehab or the hospital to boost their spirits.  Often I will be the only one who will visit them, family and former friends having gave up on them.

It's too soon to tell, of course.  There's a long road ahead of him, even after the month or so of rehab. But I'd have never thought I'd have lived to see him check himself in - I had in fact thought I'd likely be the only to talk at his funeral.  So there's that.

You just never know.  You hope for the best each time.  Most of the time your hope is dashed.  Then you hope again, just as much, the next time.  With the next person - or the same person again.

And each time, you must try mightily, because you never know which will be the time it works.