Debt

We had to have a guest leave today.  Fortunately, there was another person who had been waiting for a spot.  He called to ask if we had an opening, I said yes.  He said he was going to have a hard time getting over here because after work he'd have to go and see if the last place would let him have his things.  

I told him that I'd pick him up from work, and there'd be no trouble getting his things.  We're a full service type non-profit.

I picked him up from work at 3:30pm, glad that he was already gainfully employed, gladder that it was so close to our sober living home that he'd be able to walk.  He knew that, he said that was why he had been calling so often to see if we had an opening.  Persistence pays.

He was nervous about the last place holding his stuff.  I told him that would not be an issue.  We got there, and sure enough, this couple said he could pick up his stuff tomorrow, when he got paid and then came and paid them.  

I'm not going to get into the full details on this, as to the ins and outs of whether he owed some, none or all, but suffice to say, they were being hinky, and I am well aware, running such homes myself, that if you give a break one week, you don't get to go back and charge for your kindness a month later on the grounds of not liking that the guy is leaving.

It was barely possible the guy owed "X".  The lady was talking fast, while the hubby looked sheepish, insisting that it added up to "2X".  Each was glancing at me, wondering at me standing there quietly observing their shenanigans.  

I finally cut in.  "You're saying he needs to pay you $XXX tomorrow at 4pm.  He understands.  For the record, are you attempting to hold his clothes and papers till then?"

"No, of course not!", exclaimed the lady like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.  True, her and her husband had just been saying how he could take just what he needed for a night and then the rest tomorrow, and yeah, that was basically clothes and paperwork, but I've noticed that some people can do wrong when it's not quite named, but get nervous when you name the wrong out loud.

Collateral for $2.71

"We just need to hold some stuff till tomorrow, for the rent he owes, you understand.", the husband added hopefully.  "Hopefully" in the sense that he was hoping I'd nod my head and agree to the fairness of that.  I ignored this Yukon driving fool, which in his world meant that I must be very important to be able to dismiss him without acknowledgement.  

I looked at the future guest - well, current guest, since I'd took a pic of his ID, and had him fill out the application while we waited on these two to arrive.  I told him, "They aren't going to hold your clothes and paperwork.  We will get those now and go from there."  He went up to the house and I followed, and neither was quite sure enough as to my status to stop me.  In case they got to wondering and asked, I said to him, "I assume you'll need an extra pair of hands." and with that excuse, went in with him.

Straight up to the attic where they had admitted to moving his stuff we went.  He said nervously to me, "There really isn't anything but clothes and paperwork, and an alarm clock."  I said, "Is that all of it over there?"  He said "Yes", I said, "Take it all.", and grabbed one of the bags.

Heading back downstairs I said, "Go straight to the car, they can't stop you from leaving a place."  He and I did, and the guy was behind - knowing that he'd lost - bleating, "So tomorrow, right?" and me saying, "Everything that needs to be done after he gets off work tomorrow will be done, I guarantee that."  

This made him happy, but only because he probably had American parents.  Me, I had a British mother, and know exactly what words in English mean.  Those words mean that I will see to it that everything that needs to be done after our new guest is off work tomorrow will be done, and that the guy would be ill-advised to hold his breath while waiting on seeing any past due rent money.

Our new guest was pretty relieved as we drove away.  I've noticed from my own experience, and my experience with our guests, that the less you have, the greater it's value.  A millionaire might shrug off a $1,000 loss on a horse race, but a near homeless man losing two bags of clothes and a birth certificate can depress him into near suicide.

Which is why I never hold a guest's stuff hostage.  You can't sell it, so at that point, even if he does owe you, it would only be spiteful to deny it to him.  

I explained to him, "These guys are new at this apparently, and don't know what's what yet.  Maybe they never will.  You may well owe something from some perspective.  But experience taught my wife and I that if you don't get it up front, you can't complain later.  At least not and be took too seriously.  And we know that if you spot a man too many weeks on credit, he just starts fretting about the debt and it bobbles his sobriety.  So if we can spot a week or more and afford to lose it, we sometimes do, if we can't, then it's pay up front for the week or they can leave now.  There then can never be a situation in which the guest leaves owing.  Ever."

He asked what he should do about the X amount he thinks he owes.  I said, "Well, pay it, by all means, when you can.  But don't kill yourself or your sobriety over it.  I'm not advocating you don't pay what you honestly owe, but I'm not going to let them rob you of your clothes just for you not having it the exact day they want it.  And, I truly don't agree with them even letting you owe that much.  They should have forgave it, or had you leave a long time ago."

Then I said.  "Oh, and speaking of not letting you get behind..." and rubbed the tip of my thumb with the tip of my forefinger.  He laughed and said, "Yeah, here you go!", and paid his Program Fee.  

Do I feel bad for the couple that probably is not going to be paid?  I've mixed feelings.  But mostly I do not.  You see, the goal really is to help, and we're dealing with people who are in what is an emergency situation.  I mean, we tend to overlook that, and yeah, there are shelters and breadlines, but no matter how you slice it, being homeless is a bit of an emergency.  Ongoing, but an emergency.

There's a principle overlooked nowadays, where you aren't supposed to take advantage of a person's emergency situation.  Like, for instance, ambulances don't arrive at an accident scene and then say, "Sign this contract saying you'll pay us 25% of your income for life or we won't treat your child!"  Why?  Because it would be unenforceable.  Most courts would view that as "signed under duress", and toss it out.  

Now, you may well be able to get a guy down and out to agree to all manner of high fees (high to him) when he spent two weeks under a bridge, another week getting bullied and beat at a warming shelter, and a week getting various difficulties at another shelter.  What do you expect him to say, "No, I won't agree, so please boot me at once!"?

No, he'll agree, and have a shower and a warm bed, and try to just put off any "kick out" for a few days or few weeks.  And, since he's probably not the most evil person in the world, he will, when he does then manage to get a job, start to feel nervous and bad about what he owes.  To you, the amount may seem relatively small and only "what he owes".  To him, he already knows how far he has to go, just to get to what you'd think of as "poor", and this new debt isn't aiding him.

Consider - he knows that with his first check, he won't be saving towards an apartment (which would cost about $1,500 to move into the cheapest in town) or a car (which would be about $1,500 if it was worth having) or anything that will get him on his feet again.  And he knows that he won't be able to use it to spend $100 on a phone so he can join the rest of the planet.  Or buy new underwear or socks or shoes that his boss says he needs at work, or a good shirt so the others at work won't look down on him.  Or even buy smokes, which while you may think they're a luxury, they're the only pleasure he has, whether that is "right" or not.

No, he's working knowing that he must not only wait three weeks till his first check, but you're all there waiting to swoop in like a vulture and take pretty much the entirety of it for what he already owes, and depending on the pay periods, it may be a small enough check that you'll then be taking the next one, too.  So he's to go a month or more without any money whatsoever.  

Now, yeah, he is getting a place for that.  The warm bed and shower and such.  But I'm telling you, it's weird, but it's a funny transition.  You can almost be comfortable in a shelter.  Obviously you can be comfortable in your own apartment.  But the transition is a 1,001 indiginities.  You can't wash your clothes - yes, a washer and dryer are on site, but you've no money for detergent.  You have a kitchen - but no food.  It's even hard to use the bathroom - the guys are like, "Where's your chip in for toilet paper?"

(This is why our sober living home attempts as far as possible to cover everything a person might need - I full well know these terrible little traps.)

But when they get to a home like that one couple is running, then they're expected to just have no extra cash at all, for a long, long time.  And to suffer those things.  Perhaps that is on some level morally appropriate, as some kind of karmic balance for their past sins.  That literally may be true.  But if the goal is to help...well, I know that letting karma do that is not going to help.  Mercy is the order of the day, because even non-addicts aren't all that great at giving up the little things.  Like socks with no holes or underwear not in tatters.

How I work it then is to arrange the situation so that it never comes up.  I try to not let anyone in unless they already have that first week upfront.  I make our fees so small ($70 per week) that virtually anyone can afford it, working or not.  If I do let someone come in without a fee, or if I let a person slide a week, then while I listen and nod when they say they'll pay later, I then come up with a "chore" or favor that let's me pretend that now I owe them, and thus I can wipe that slate clean so they can work their regular job without pressure.

And if we can't provide some of the little stuff, I take them to organizations that can.

I don't let them build up debt to me, nor charge excessively, because they are still weak from coming out of addiction and fragile, and it is on me to be more responsible in my dealings with them.  As it was on that couple to be more responsible in their dealings with our newest guest.  Oh, I suspect I get it.  I suspect they spotted and spotted him, charging him more than they should have ($175 per week!) and assuring him he could square it later.

Then they watch him get that first job.  Oh, they can taste at least $175 now, and maybe $350, and maybe even $525, depending on whether this little gouging game took two weeks or three.  Well, sorry, but their charged fee is too high.  And of course the guy probably agreed to it at the time - under duress!  And if any doubt it's duress, you go sleep under a bridge for awhile and ponder it.  Or a stinking shelter filled with those who want to rob and/or hurt you, or maybe even "just" spit on you because they think you're a space alien!

That couple is going to have to learn that it's not about making money.  And the nature of this "business" is not going to let them make money, not like that.  Oh, one can be financially successful at it, but it takes working with volume and minimizing costs by owning the facilities out right and going without a salary.  Not Renting To Own, like I know they are, and hoping to have the disenfranchised of Springfield pay for that while paying himself a salary sufficient to afford the Yukon he was driving.

He and his wife are associated with a little addiction aid center I won't name, one of the cute little health insurance milkers that our government is starting to catch on to, and are getting a bit of gravy on the side with this.  Or trying to.  If our new guest is an example, I'm suspecting they'll bow out in a few more months.  Some of these places do come and go awfully quick.  There are rules, written and unwritten, and if not followed, you will fail.  

But the biggest rule is to have a heart.  And be in it for the right reasons.  It's a funny coincidence - but I don't believe it was a coincidence.  At Lowes today, I saw a man I hadn't seen in years.  10 years, though I met him 12 years ago.  He's the pastor of a church that let me park my beat up old RV in their parking lot because I was homeless, jobless and an active addict.  I had no place to go, and they let me stay there as a mercy.  Other places will run you off, or sic the police on you if you try to stay.

We each recognized the other but could not place each other for a moment.  Then he and I both remembered, and he asked me about how the house fix up was going - that being how long ago I had been in contact with him, when I had first purchased a condemned house.  I said we had two houses now, owned outright, and both were sober living homes, and we were shooting for a third.  He was happy.  I thanked him again for his aid, and he dismissed it, saying he was just glad to have been able to lend a hand when I was at a low point.

And that is what it is about.  Just lending a hand when a guy is at a low point.  Not for the big bucks, not so he owes you, not to drive a Yukon.  If you're going to help, help.  Oh, charge what you must, but don't get silly.  And take care not to hurt those who you're supposed to be helping.  They aren't in a position to do all the right things, so don't overload them and make them fail right out of the gate.