Coming Changes

Didn’t get too many “likes” on last week’s article.  Even from the stalwart few who always give us “likes” on each article.  My wife and I pondered that, and came to the conclusion that it was for last week’s article speaking of how we had to kick out a woman.  And maybe the thought of a woman being kicked out saddened some.  

Maybe.  We know that it sure saddened us, though re-reading it, I can see how maybe the sadness part didn’t come through as much as I’d have liked.  Perhaps writing it in the heat of that moment made a difference.  Or perhaps it was my desire to more explain some of the nuts and bolts of the various reasonings that go into the decisions that can seem callous to an outsider.

But I know that my wife and I have been at this for a few years now.  Long enough to know some home truths about how sober living homes - and aid to others in general - works.  Long enough to know that some changes are needed.  And coming.  We’ve this year come to an even greater resolve, where this is what we’re doing with our lives and we will succeed at it, no matter how long it takes or how much more effort.

Yes, we had that resolve all along.  What I’m saying is that my wife and I have discussed it, extensively, and have made a renewed commitment to double down on our mission, and try and push ahead even harder than before.  We are going to get squared away, and we are going to grow and we are going to succeed. More so than we have already.

For starters, we know that we’re nice.  In fact, in the main, we’ve been too nice, usually while being spit upon.  We still accept new guests now and then without even the fifty dollar fee.  Even though that has never, in three years, EVER worked out for us.  Always, without fail, those who do not have the money at the start, never do.

Secondly, we know that when a person who has never paid must leave, they will NEVER be grateful for the free time they had.  ALWAYS they will be angry at the free time ending.  I’ve a guy put out last year still stalking us with texts and facebook messages.  To me - and to my wife.  So if you wonder why last week’s article did not seem too weepy - that should help explain why.

Thirdly, even those who do pay, while they have at least an actual chance of succeeding (15%), some will imagine that fee to be some kind of large - too large - amount that entitles them to everything and anything, and at once, if not sooner.  

Example:  In the winter time, those in the sober living home paying a $50 per week flat fee that includes all will have the furnace running full blast, temperature set on 75, and more often than not, some additional electric heaters plugged in which are specifically against the rules.  And then have some windows open, because hey, it’s so darn hot, you know?

Meanwhile, right next door to that tropical paradise, we who make up the difference between the program fees and what it really costs to operate a house, have our living area at 60, and wear sweaters to bed.  Previous years, we’ve had it at 50, but this year, since someone was down stairs - for free - they had so many heaters plugged in that we got the residual heat from that.

Fourthly, there is nothing that is not expected for that $50 fee.  Besides unlimited heat, there is no need to care for anything, as since they are “paying” it can be used to destruction and we’ll just have to replace or repair it.  And no need to take any routine care of anything - the washer needs the water turned off from the spigot above it, or it will drip, drip, drip an extra $25 per month on our utility bill.

Needless to say, there’s always an extra $25 per month extra on that utility bill, even with me trying to guess each time one of them is doing laundry and going over after to turn that water off after.

Oh, and as to that free laundry?  Since it’s free, then too many do the “one load for three items” thing.  Over and over again.  But if they were paying for it at the Lucky Lady Laundromat, you know darn well it would be “stuff the washer till it bursts at the seems with 83 pieces of clothes because hey, you want to get your six quarters worth”.  I’m giving serious thought to a “laundry day” and locking the basement over there for the rest of the week.

Fifthly, I get guests here and there now and then who will “do the math” and act then like they’re being exploited so that Katie and I can live high on the hog.  This “math” assumes that we always have every bed filled and that each person in each bed is actually paying.  This laughable assumption, which at no point in our entire time of operating this home has EVER happened, would have $800 per month coming in.

Then after assuming maximum income as the norm, the output is assumed to be $100 a month for utilities and….and nothing else.  Hence all those Paris and London and Tokyo trips Katie and I take each week.  The reality is far different, sad to say.  

Katie and I fix everything before our own living area, as a result, the guys live better than us.  We don’t have a working bathroom sink.  We brush our teeth in the kitchen.  We don’t have a working dryer - but when someone broke the dryer over there, we replaced that for them.  Katie and I don’t have real windows, like the $200 each new windows over there - all ten of them.  We have broken ones which we can cover with tape and insulation in the winter to keep the wind out.

Now, as a matter of policy, and my own upbringing, I don’t actually explain the fallacies in this to such few guests as are bold enough to try and mention what they figure is their exploitation.  Mostly because if I did they’d figure then they had a “right” to sit with me each month and “help” me decide where Katie and I were going to spend our own money.  I file my annual report with the Charitable Trust Bureau each year, that is sufficient.

Because, yeah, it is our own money that ALWAYS makes up the difference.  We don’t get $800 per month.  The ledger for 2016 showed me that on average we got $400 per month.  And in all cases, not only would we usually have the first house mostly full - just not full of consistent fee payers - but we’d have an extra guest or two downstairs, for free.

And while thanks to our own hard work, savings and years put in before we could even open our doors, both houses are owned outright, there are more than just utilities to spend money on.  There’s the gas bill, about $100.  Then there is regular utilities which for reasons discussed above is far, far higher than it should be.  I’m going to be going in to speak to the utility company this Monday, it’s that time of year where we can try and catch up, but I’ll need them to work with me or we’ll be cut off this upcoming week.

What do we pay each month on that?  NEVER less than $200 per house, or $400 per month right out of the gate just to them.  Then, at least two times a year, that schedule will have us fall ever further behind until we must make up the difference, a difference measured in HUNDREDS of dollars.

Then there is insurance.  Unsurprisingly, that’s a bit more involved, and more expensive, than just paying $30 for renter’s insurance.  Funny how insurance companies insist on charging more for older properties, properties still being repaired and properties with high risk business activities going on involving parolees, probationers, ex-cons, and addicts!

Is that all?  Ha, ha.  We don’t have our 501(c)3 yet - thought that’s coming soon now - but even when we do, that does NOT exempt one from property taxes.  And while given the value of the homes, it’s not much compared to what I know some of my readers are paying, it’s not nothing either, and that’s a given amount that must be set aside each month - or scrambled for at year’s end, each time.

Then there’s auto insurance - oh, no, not speaking of Katie’s car, we pay for that, I’m speaking of the van which is corporate owned.  And it’s plates.  But to too many guests, it’s assumed that they can get rides magically, at no cost in insurance, tags, gas, oil changes, etc.  Or that the random $2 offered to me somehow covers all those rides to work and to see their kids or go to the doctor or, or, or.  No, that’s we paying for that.  It sure as heck isn’t covered by program fees.

There’s garbage service.  There’s the internet.  There’s costs associated with running things that they don’t directly see, from a safety deposit box to annual filing fees to the various fees and such that doing business in Illinois requires.

And of course, there’s the continuous repairs and improvements.  Now for that we get donations, thank heavens, and that’s honestly about the only thing that lets any improvement get made ever.  Given that I’m sure some of you already noticed that our average fee income of “less than $500” is not sufficient for the output of “more than $800”.  

Now, is it all bad?  No, but it can be frazzling.  Katie’s car - much preferred for giving rides in as it took less gas - is parked now due to it needing repairs that we can’t afford at the moment.  And I dry our clothes next door, as we can’t afford that dryer for ourselves yet.  And a variety of ticky tacky that I’m not going to list out, because we’ll get by.

But we have come to some conclusions.

We have a better feel now for some of the “too strict rules” that other houses have.  We see now that without those, it gets to this kind of situation, a situation that we’ve been able to afford, but only barely.  If by “only barely” I mean, “well, not quite really, but mostly”.  

And we’re going to change that.  Not entirely, my heart is still soft, tone of this article notwithstanding.  I still talk tougher than I am, a fact known to the guys as they still ask me for a five spot till payday or rides and such with no reticence.  And without walking away disappointed.

But things will be tightened up.  Particularly on the utility situation.  We will be, for the first time, be having consequences for specifically and flagrantly violating the rules on electric heaters, open windows while the AC is on and such as that.  It’s what other houses do.  Houses that thus have less in utilities than us, while accommodating more men.

We are going to get the basement done up, and we will be doing our level best to have six fee paying guests.  This will bring in - since there is NEVER full occupancy - a steady $800 a month.  Finally.  Because while I know we’ll always be short around two fees, it should average out to as if we had four regularly consistent fees.

This should let us catch up on bills, finish up on repairs, pay back some debts corporately owed, and in general get squared away improvements-wise and on all other fronts.  If that then worries anyone, because after all that it may work out to “extra” money per month…

...well, rest easy, that day I have projected out to 2018, at the earliest.  And on that blessed day, if there is ever such a thing as “extra” when dealing with aiding six men and operating two houses, then we’ll be looking into a third house.  Possibly.  I am still thinking that some reading this are yet underestimating what it takes to operate and maintain two houses, even with them paid off.

There’s good reason why the other sober living homes charge 30 to 40 percent of their guest’s income to stay in similar conditions.

What will this mean in the end? It will mean that we can aid more people, more productively, and with more resources. More will be introduced to Christ. More will have a chance to get back on their feet. More will have a chance at a real life. We can't help those who truly wish help if we keep getting drowned and/or drug down by those who just want some rest and play time.

Next week:  Back to heart warming stories!  And as always, if anyone would like a tour, let me know!