I have noted though that on almost any given week, things of some interest do take place, and while of interest to me as it's my job, I've come to understand that it seems of interest to those not in that world, too, as they try to understand and come to terms with what makes alcoholics and addicts that way.
Now if one is reading this specifically for such an insight, they may end up a bit disappointed. I'm a recovered alcoholic/addict myself, and I have no great secret of the ages as to the "why" of this kind of thing. I suppose from a biological perspective, some humans are better able to withstand various strains of flu, and likewise some are better able to take or leave substances that activate the pleasure center of the brain.
From a theological perspective, it's just one among many sins that various mortals are tempted with. I suspect that whenever there is any kind of biological, sociological or psychological propensity for something, that Satan uses that. And why wouldn't he? It would be absurd to try to tempt me with gambling, when I dislike it - in the old days, I regarded it as a waste of "drinking money"!
But I imagine that he tempts gamblers with such, as they would regard drinking as a waste of gambling money!
A great "cure" for such urges is having an appropriate social network. Those connected to family and responsible non-addict friends, those particularly in the "tribe", sociologically speaking, of a church family, do FAR better first, at not succumbing so much to such vices, but second, being able to throw them off easier. Or with less difficulty anyway.
We just got two new guests. The "wanted man" who had been here we had to kick out a week ago. He had stole from several of the guys (a buck in change from one, a few ciggs from another, but still) and he routinely missed curfew to stay at a girlfriend's house overnight. When I told him by text that I'd take his things anywhere he wanted, he asked if I meant I was kicking him out. I told him that I was more acknowledging that he clearly had another place to stay, but yes, he was kicked out.
I didn't get into the "you stole from the other guys" part, as experience has taught me that such is only going to get an angry denial and an argument in which I'll be asked to present proof sufficient to convince the Supreme Court, and if I fail in any particular to have DNA reports, video footage and 17 witnesses from a convent somewhere, they'll be like, "Well, then, see, I'm innocent!"
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| He's too clever for us, your Honor, the State is dropping all charges. |
Oh, as to he being the "wanted man", he had waited till he was processed in and then related that to me the next day. Nothing dramatic, it's not like the movies. It wasn't that he had helped Edward Snowden and had snuck in from Russia, or was a mass murderer fleeing a tri-state man hunt. No, just some minor hippy-dippy charges resulting from some drug nonsense gone awry.
"And so we all ran, but when the cops caught the other two guys, they said that all the drugs were mine, when none of them were!"
To which I nodded and remarked that it was distressing the lack of integrity among some. Since many miss my sense of humor that I inherited from my British mother, he just nodded and agreed.
In any case, the first thing I advised him was that there was no "Program Supervisor/Client privilege". Then that he should turn himself in immediately for however bad it might be, it's worse if you make them work at it to catch you. And they'll always catch you in the end, unless you can live off the land or mail yourself to Mexico.
And while the movies don't show it, Mexico will just send such types back.
In any case, if it bothers anyone that we gave him a few days to figure it out, please know that as a result of that first and only situation, I did discuss it with my wife and come up with a new policy.
In the future we'll ask in the processing if they are currently wanted for anything, and if they say "yes", we will not accept them but only advise that they seek an attorney and to comply with the law as quickly as they can. If they say "no", and we find out later they lied, then they will be asked to leave for having lied to us. And given the same advice.
Well, all that had left us one short in the main house, and the basement of the second house was still empty.
But then, a local businessman and fellow church goer came by and installed a lot of electricity - like, four outlets! One a nice fancy one safe for being near a sink, which obviously went near the sink! Another regular one for a microwave! Another one for a refrigerator! And yet another for a stove, a very special install with special wire and that fancy big box for the stove to plug into!
So now we had room for three more guests, though we were still needing to get a refrigerator and stove for the basement.
One of the guests knew a guy who needed a place so he had come by last week and found out how much it would be and agreed to come back this latest Friday. Which he did. Bringing his first week's program fee of $50 and a friend who was interested in the basement. He only had $30. Or rather, he could only "get" thirty, he didn't have it yet.
Hmm...I know where that usually goes. But while I might talk tough in some articles, I try to give a chance if it's possible. I offered that he mow the lawns for the $20 part - not much of a value to me, as I could do it myself pretty quick - and then he pay the $30. He agreed, but sure enough, while gone for awhile, he came back very late and didn't have the $30.
However, it was late, and I felt that he might be worth a chance, especially since he was friends with two of the guests, so I said he could spend the night and we'd figure it out in the morning. In the morning I told I had to go to church but he was free to see if he knew anyone who had the thirty and we'd worry about the lawn later. (It being the Sabbath)
At church, though, my wife texted me that he was mowing the lawn! Which kind of puzzled me as the lawn mower I had borrowed from another church friend was in the back of the very van that I had drove to church in, me having planned on having the guy wait till Sunday for any lawn work. I asked what he was mowing with, and it turned out that his dad had heard of his possible new chance with our sober living house and immediately came over with a mower to help him out!
Which while yeah, the Sabbath, they didn't know, so I thought that was kind of the father. They had finished and the dad had left before I got back. But as my wife said, it was good that this new guest at least has a support system, which he clearly did if family and friends were willing to aid him with the lawn. And his sister was still there and let me know she was willing to help on his program fee if need be.
Okay, so clearly we're giving this guy a try! And he is downstairs as I type, having had a good nights sleep! But first, he actually did ask me for a ride yesterday and I took him to some place that he'd done some work for and he got $30 for that, and passed it over to me at once. I made a note of his current status in my iPhone, and then we went to a friend of his and got a good deal on a working stove!
So now there is a nice working stove plugged into the nice new working outlet for that stove!
Now, while I had started writing this in the morning, I got interrupted by a guy knocking on the door. He said, "One of your guests over a year ago who was working on your plumbing had me over to give advice." I remembered him. Because he was the only reason the plumbing finally worked!
He said, "I've got a washer and dryer that I need to sell, and I was in the area and thought of your houses first." I said, "I've only got thirty bucks, sorry. But thanks for thinking of us!"
"Thirty dollars? That's what I was hoping for! Sold!", he said. I said, "That's great, I'll have the dryer, that'll be a big help!" He said, "No, for both!"
And that's how we got a washer and dryer for $30 today!
On another note on appliances, we are on the hunt now for another refrigerator! Yes, we need a specific refrigerator for down stairs. Something larger than a dorm fridge, but smaller than the big ones where the freezer is on the left side and the fridge the right.
We need one of the old ones, where the freezer is on top. About that size. That would be ideal.
Now what's coming up this week? Well, there'll be the six pm house meeting today, in which I will review the rules on the guests having guests over. Particularly not having guests over who are of the opposite sex who don't understand that when I say "no women in the bedrooms" I mean it, even they aren't doing anything and are fully dressed.
Because last night when I caught that I had to say, "I know you aren't doing anything and I can see that you are fully dressed. Which is why I'm having you leave now. Before that changes."
Her presence also violated another rule. The "no having people over who don't really have a place to stay". Because sure enough, she had no place to stay. She wanted to sit in the living room and call for a ride, but at 11:00 pm? I was on to that trick.
I told her I'd give her a ride. She was inclined to argue and just wait till she could call someone - which would have turned into her spending the night. I said, "You misunderstand. I'll give you a ride, but only because I do not want you here for even one more minute. If you'd prefer to walk, that's fine. But you must leave now."
So she had me give her a ride, northside, of course, it wasn't going to be easy. She must have called half a dozen guys but none of them were up for her to "stop by for a visit". I guess they knew her. Finally I dropped her off at a Quik and EZ - her request, and the irony was not lost upon me - and some guy who had finally said "yes" came by to pick her up.
Sad. On quite a few levels. And why I'm glad we're only ever helping male alcoholics and addicts. They're far easier to deal with!
Tomorrow, I work on some more paperwork in preparation for our upcoming 501(c)3 exemption! So I'll be at the University, some how it is easier to focus on doing paperwork there than in your own home!
There! Weekly update, achieved!
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