Poised on the brink of success...

Our application with the State of Illinois for a certain project is now on it's way. Mailed Friday. Will it or won't it succeed?

Hard to say. On the surface, we are very qualified, even more so than some doing it now. Of course, on the other hand, I'm a recovered alcoholic with three misdemeanors that have in previous times got me denied a stock boy job by Walmart.

And let me tell you, that's an event that will really get a man to sit down and contemplate his life's journeys and how "mistakes were made".

As I told Katie, the "not getting this" won't mean we're stuck. We were pursuing a slower path already, one that we may obviously resume in the event of a "no". But it is a much slower path, and much harder.

We can taste this like some who foolishly buy Lotto tickets can taste the mega-millions. We taste it all the more, because it is so tantalizingly possible. We've worked so hard, for so long, on one house, on the second house...we're very, very close to being solidly financially sound. In some ways, we already are, at least far more than other years.

Better odds than a lottery ticket - but better enough?

Long term readers know the story of the first two houses. Ten years of two very poor - pretty much destitute - people (my wife and I) acquiring and fixing up two condemned houses into homes. The years of replacing the roof, furnace, electrical, plumbing, windows and such in the first house. You learn a lot about the variety of flavor packets that Top Ramen has created, let me tell you.

The autumn we lived with no plumbing in the second house, so that our first sober living home guests could stay in the fully renovated first house. Followed by the winter of running water, but still no hot water. Followed by the spring of "Yay, we got electricity and can stop running everything off of extension cords that come from the house next door!" Which turned into the summer of, "Okay, well, at least we have some electricity and need fewer extension cords from the other house."

Katie's been a real trooper. Gone through a lot with me. More than I feel I am worth. But I'm glad she has, as I could not do it alone. As a Russian philosopher once said, "A spirit too needs fuel, it can run dry." My love for Katie has kept me fueled, as has her love for me.

Our slow but sure path has us doing something similar in acquiring a third house. Or it would have. We both decided we can't do that again. Not the out and out condemned house. Perhaps this is weak of us, but that living in a broken house with nothing was perhaps not as glamorously exciting as it might seem in the reading of it. Biking to work early enough to stop off at Planet Fitness for a shower and shave before continuing to work. Washing dishes in a broken sink with a gallon jug of cold water. Unplugging a microwave to plug in a bedroom light. So we decided this autumn that we'd instead shoot for a Contract for Deed house. One already up and ready for people to move in. One where there could be things to fix, but that it would at least have a roof, electricity, hot running water - the basics. Human habitable.

But that's a problem, too, sad to say. Most want 20% down, which we find remarkable for what the whole Contract for Deed thing was supposed to be. Others are clearly just being fraudulent. Or are trying to unload obviously condemnable houses as mild fixer uppers. I had a guy assure me he had a "move in-able house" and a casual look showed it would take at least two grand before I'd let a homeless mouse move in. Even the stairs were upside down. Don't ask, I don't know how either, you'd have to see it to believe it.

Understand, if we get a house CFD, that won't set us at once. But it would mean that we'd know that in five years or so we'd be financially secure, once that house was paid for. As the other two already are. Then we'd be sitting comfortably and not having to worry about getting the bills paid in a timely fashion. So that's why we're so eager for that.

This bid we're doing for the State of Illinois, that would cut all that short. The contract would provide enough that a third house could be had probably within six months, and be fully operational and paid off six months after that. We're obviously speaking of a very modest house. But still, that's all we were shooting for anyway.

Will we get it? Or won't we get it? Well, we have each other either way, and that is very comforting. And we'll eventually get a third house one way or another, even if this falls through, so that is also very comforting. Still. Still.

It'd be nice to get that contract!